Author Tracy Shawn as child on beach
by
Tracy Shawn
(A One-Minute Read)
My earliest memory of pure joy was when I was about four years old—and utterly alone. I had woken up at dawn. It seemed as if the house itself was under the same spell of blanketed silence as my sleeping parents and older sister. I was electrified with the thought that I could walk out the door without having to ask, without anyone knowing. I inhaled the salty beach air, a familiar yet also wonderfully expectant scent that made me think of Hans Christian Anderson mermaids and Peter Pan pirates.
Even though my mother had warned me many times over to never go into the ocean alone, that’s where my gangly legs led me. I skipped over the still-damp sand, the grains sticking to the soles of my bare feet. When I came to the edge of the sea, I stood in awe. The sunrise glittered over the ocean as if millions upon millions of golden coins were flashing a path all the way from the horizon.
What could I do but race into the tide? Smiling, I stopped when the water, cold as melted ice and smooth as a breeze, kissed my scabbed-up knees, creating goose bumps all over my body. I wasn’t going over my head or even up to my waist, so I wasn’t really “going into the ocean alone.” Ah, but I was blissfully alone.
The whole beach was mine. The whole ocean was mine. There were no neighbors, joggers, or surfers; just two seagulls bobbing beyond the waves on their own peaceful swath of blue. I splashed and laughed and reached my hands below the water, clenching handfuls of wet sand, which I gleefully threw at incoming waves. I sang my favorite song, “My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean” until I became hoarse.
Eventually, I turned around, an onshore wind pushing me homeward. I needed to sneak back before anyone woke up. My adventure was mine. That morning was mine. And, even as time blurs many of my memories into an ever-fading haze, that one spectacular dawn will always remain brilliant, will always remain mine.
Author and speaker Tracy Shawn, M.A. lives and writes on the Central Coast of California. Her award-winning debut novel, “The Grace of Crows,” is available on Amazon and other online book outlets. She has recently completed her second novel. Please visit her at: www.tracyshawn.com
