Anxiety. The very word makes me tense, fretful, neurotic. It pinches a personal nerve as I have suffered from both chronic and acute apprehension. (And I’m not just talking about the normal, everyday stuff either: Mine has included quite over-the-top fare, which makes watching end-of-the-world movies a relaxing respite). But I have fought the fear, an ongoing process that—for the most part—has been a rewarding journey.
I know I’m not alone. If you look at the statistics, anxiety disorders affect about 18% of U.S. adults, creating some 40 million tormented citizens. That makes a hell of a lot of people walking down the street, trying to keep down the fear. Some will turn to therapy, some to medication, and some will battle the angst with a combination of counseling and drugs. Like so many things in life, what works for one person, may or may not work for the next.
I happen to be more of the lone wolf type who does better ingesting her information through anonymous learning and self-practice. And on a sleepless summer night, I edged my body toward the TV as I listened to bright-eyed Lucinda Bassett, author of the best-selling book From Panic to Power, talk about how she was able to transcend her own fear and why she had started the Midwest Center (a well-respected program that treats people suffering from chronic stress, anxiety and depression). By the blue light of the screen, I scribbled down the number, and in the morning ordered their workbook and tapes. Years later, I am able to say that my overall anxiety has dramatically decreased. Because I listened to the tapes as I walked by myself on the beach or hiked alone on mountain trails, I was better able to absorb and practice the ways to replace negative, fearful thoughts with more productive (and sane!) self-talk.
Yet even bigger than learning to challenge my anxiety, was discovering how I wasn’t the only person leading a normal life while battling the undertow of irrational fear. Somehow that fact alone helped me become even more hopeful and empowered. If other people with thoughts just as scary as mine could climb out of their anxiety, then I could too. Yes, I still have some dark days, as my closest friends know all too well. But it’s different than it used to be. Now I realize that no matter how bad things look, the dread won’t last. And since dread is essentially a thick kind of worry about the future, knowing that it will eventually fade away is the best antidote.
Tracy Shawn lives and writes on the Central Coast of California. Her debut novel, “The Grace of Crows” (Amazon link: http://amzn.to/19mA6r1), is about what happens after a woman with debilitating anxiety reconnects with a childhood friend who has become homeless and living under a pier in Malibu. (Amazon Author Page Link:https://www.amazon.com/author/tracyshawn).
